All posts tagged: bipolar

In My Blood

The lyrics of this song means so much to me, It couldn’t have came on the radio when it did. So take a gander of these lyrics. They are so strong and powerful. Help me, it’s like the walls are caving in Sometimes I feel like giving up But I just can’t It isn’t in my blood Laying on the bathroom floor, feeling nothing I’m overwhelmed and insecure, give me something I could take to ease my mind slowly Just have a drink and you’ll feel better Just take her home and you’ll feel better Keep telling me that it gets better Does it ever? Help me, it’s like the walls are caving in Sometimes I feel like giving up No medicine is strong enough Someone help me I’m crawling in my skin Sometimes I feel like giving up But I just can’t It isn’t in my blood It isn’t in my blood I’m looking through my phone again, feeling anxious Afraid to be alone again, I hate this I’m trying to find a way …

OSF Healthcare

Well on April 2018, I was taken to my local hospital ED for trying to hang myself. I ended up staying in the ED until 9 am the following morning. After that, I got to be transferred to OSF Healthcare Heart of Mary Medical Center in Urbana. I can say that they since OSF took over ownership, some things have changed and one of the biggest changes is the technology. The technology they use is some of the best. The downfall is that the computers/portable workstations are brand new and they keep freezing. I know they used a mixed environment for technology as that could be some of the problems that they have with their technology “upgrade”. Who knows what the backend server looks like, don’t know if they using just any backend server, or top tier, such as Apple Server, as they mix apple products. After staying here for the three days that I did, I can officially say that I feel about 85-90% better than what I did before I got there. OSF …

I Went Hanging

Well today was a shitty ass day. I ended up trying to hang myself and just be done with life. My brother comes in the garage where I am at with the noose around my neck and getting ready to step off the chair I was standing on.  He wants to know what is wrong and accuses me of doing this for attention. Yea, suicide for attention? Makes sense don’t it. Well he made me call the crisis help line and I got no where with it and he even heard it. He then proceeded to make me call the hospital where I was last hospitalized to find out what to do. They told me to call an ambulance and go to my nearest hospital emergency room. I ended up doing as they said and got taken to the Hoopeston hospital. Upon arriving to the hospital, I had to strip down to my boxers. My vitals were taken regularly and they advised that they have contacted crisis and that they should be there anytime but …