Well I went to probation today for the first time since getting out of jail and I got to find out a lot of shit. One of the first questions was my probation officer asked was if I was managing my moms money still and if I knew why I wasn’t. And then he told me all the things that people told him.
My mom (my own fucking mother) had the balls to tell my probation officer that she wasn’t sleeping because she was scared of me and afraid that i might do something to her. WTF!!! I am beyond pissed the fuck off and then she told him that I was stealing her meds (narcotics) from her which I wasn’t. I can’t believe my own mother would betray me like that and then when i try and ask her about it like a notmal conversation, she denies every fucking thing. Hell while I was in jail she even told my probation officer and everyone else that I wasn’t coming back home and that I wasn’t gonna be living here with her and everyone else.
Well beens the truth has been set out to me by my probation officer because my mother can’t tell me she just wants to lie to me as usual, I will be looking for another place to live and getting the fuck out of here. I hate doing shit like this but how can I trust her. Your supposed to be able to trust your own mother but yet I can’t trust her, and if I can’t trust her then why should I be around her. I don’t want nothing to do with her healthcare or anything. I let all of her doctors know that I am no longer her power of attorney as I am revoking it, and having the court system appoint a surrogate healthcare and financial power of attorney for her. The shit she says irritates me and gets underneath my skin.
I am going to find me somewhere else to live even if I have to live on the streets because I will. I can’t do this anymore. I’m just tired of being lied to and betrayed by my own mother and family.
My health mood for my depression/bipolar for today is shit. After finding this all out it just went down the drain. It was a pretty decent day until I found all of this out. This kind of drama/stress does not help my moods and depression and just makes it worse. and that is something that I can’t have in my life. If I continue to have it in my life, something is going to happen to me and that is something that I don’t want to happen. I have to much left of my life and in my life. I have 2 amazing nieces and one nephew that means the world to me and I can’t leave them, but if I stay in this hostile environment they will end up loosing me.
So here’s to a shitty ass day!!