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OSF Healthcare

Well on April 2018, I was taken to my local hospital ED for trying to hang myself. I ended up staying in the ED until 9 am the following morning. After that, I got to be transferred to OSF Healthcare Heart of Mary Medical Center in Urbana.

I can say that they since OSF took over ownership, some things have changed and one of the biggest changes is the technology. The technology they use is some of the best. The downfall is that the computers/portable workstations are brand new and they keep freezing. I know they used a mixed environment for technology as that could be some of the problems that they have with their technology “upgrade”. Who knows what the backend server looks like, don’t know if they using just any backend server, or top tier, such as Apple Server, as they mix apple products.

After staying here for the three days that I did, I can officially say that I feel about 85-90% better than what I did before I got there. OSF Healthcare Heart of Mary Medical Center Behavioral Health Unit is simply the best and only hospital-based unit in the area.

OSF Healthcare provides superb healthcare and treats you just like your family. I don’t know what I would do if it wasn’t for OSF Healthcare. I greatly appreciate the services that they provide to our communities.

Next on my list, is getting my individual setup and started which, I will do on Monday.

I Went Hanging

Well today was a shitty ass day. I ended up trying to hang myself and just be done with life. My brother comes in the garage where I am at with the noose around my neck and getting ready to step off the chair I was standing on. 

He wants to know what is wrong and accuses me of doing this for attention. Yea, suicide for attention? Makes sense don’t it. Well he made me call the crisis help line and I got no where with it and he even heard it. He then proceeded to make me call the hospital where I was last hospitalized to find out what to do. They told me to call an ambulance and go to my nearest hospital emergency room. I ended up doing as they said and got taken to the Hoopeston hospital.

Upon arriving to the hospital, I had to strip down to my boxers. My vitals were taken regularly and they advised that they have contacted crisis and that they should be there anytime but are coming from Champaign-Urbana area. Shift changed at 7 that night and crisis was actually called this time. Crisis didn’t show up until around 10 that night and then she fought her ass off to get me into a facility. She was trying every facility at her disposal when I told her specifically what facility I wanted to go to as I had been there before. I didn’t get to go to the facility until 7:30am when I got transferred to Champaign-Urbana to OSF Heart of Mary Medical Center. 

I spent three days there in the facility for treatment of Bipolar Disorder Type 1.  

 

*note this was written on the day and during my stay in the hospital.

I destroy homes…

I destroy homes, tear families apart, take your children, and that’s just the start. I’m more costly than diamonds, more costly than gold, the sorrow I bring is a sight to behold, and if you need me, remember I’m easily found. I live all around you, in schools and in town. I live with the rich, I live with the poor, I live down the street, and maybe next door. My power is awesome; try me you’ll see, but if you do, you may never break free. Just try me once and I might let you go, but try me twice, and I’ll own your soul. When I possess you, you’ll steal and you’ll lie. You do what you have to just to get high. The crimes you’ll commit, for my narcotic charms will be worth the pleasure you’ll feel in your arms. You’ll lie to your mother; you’ll steal from your dad When you see their tears, you should feel sad. But you’ll forget your morals and how you were raised, I’ll be your conscience, I’ll teach you my ways. I take kids from parents, and parents from kids, I turn people from God, and separate from friends. I’ll take everything from you, your looks and your pride, I’ll be with you always, right by your side. You’ll give up everything your family, your home, your friends, your money, then you’ll be alone. I’ll take and take, till you have nothing more to give. When I’m finished with you you’ll be lucky to live. If you try me be warned this is no game. If given the chance, I’ll drive you insane. I’ll ravish your body; I’ll control your mind. I’ll own you completely; your soul will be mine. The nightmares I’ll give you while lying in bed, the voices you’ll hear from inside your head, the sweats, the shakes, the visions you’ll see; I want you to know, these are all gifts from me, But then it’s too late, and you’ll know in your heart, that you are mine, and we shall not part. You’ll regret that you tried me, they always do, but you came to me, not I to you. You knew this would happen. Many times you were told, but you challenged my power, and chose to be bold. You could have said no, and just walked away, If you could live that day over, now what would you say? I’ll be your master; you will be my slave, I’ll even go with you, when you go to your grave. Now that you have met me, what will you do? Will you try me or not? Its all up to you. I can bring you more misery than words can tell. Come take my hand, let me lead you to hell.

~ Unknown ~

New Me

I can say that there’s gonna be a new me. I’m tired of the same old me. Someone that is completely boring and predictive at what I do and am.

I have examined who I am and who I want to be. I am someone who cares, respects, and treats others with the same quality. I want to remove the negativity from my life and introduce positivity into my life.

There are things that I know I am going to have to change in order to recreate myself into who I want to be and who I should be.

One thing I am going to have to change is my role in my life. I am/used to be the type that would follow in others footsteps and do what they want/ed. Now I have to and want to change that perspective and be a leader. I want to be the person that people look up to. I want to lead the charge. This is the first thing that has to be done first before I can change everything else in my life.

So here’s to a new beginning and outlook on life.

Democrats & LGBT

Below is DNC‘s platform on LGBT which is something that I care about as a member of the LGBT community and proud supporter of LGBT rights.

“Democrats believe that LGBT rights are human rights and that American foreign policy should advance the ability of all persons to live with dignity, security, and respect, regardless of who they are or who they love. We applaud President Obama’s historic Presidential Memorandum on International Initiatives to Advance the Human Rights of Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgendered Persons, which combats criminalization, protects refugees, and provides foreign assistance. We will continue to stand with LGBT people around the world, including fighting efforts by any nation to infringe on LGBT rights or ignore abuse.”

President Trump publicly admitted via his personal Twitter account (@realDonaldTrump) that he would protect and fight for the LGBT community against Hillary Clinton.

As you have noticed in the “fake” news that Mr. Trump has explicitly reversed exactly what he said he would. He had instituted a ban on Transgendered persons serving in the US Military going against the leading Generals of the Military. He has trampled all over the LGBT community nationwide as well as worldwide.

When researching the GOP Republicans platform, they have no mention of support towards the rights of LGBT. This is party that is only for one specific person/group, THE WEALTHY.

We must all come together and support each other by voting candidates that will support everyone and not just the wealthy. We can not let the Republicans and Mr. Trump ruin our country.

Proud Democrat

I can say that I am a PROUD Democrat living in a Republican ran county. I support the Iroquois County Democrats. The Democratic Party is there for The People.

While the country is in a state of mess with the Republican Commander-in-Chief and Republican led Congress, we must come together with our differences and elect our rightful officials that will stand up for us when no one will. As you see in the news and social media on the daily, our Republican ran country is ruining our country what it was founded in. We (Democrats) are the change.

Currently the primary election is right before us. We as Americans have the duty to vote and elect the rightful candidates to serve and protect us ALL.

Currently Iroquois County Democrats is hosting an event New Day/New New Day at Town & Country Events in Milford. You can get tickets online at their website or by messaging Iroquois Democrats on Facebook.

Come meet our MC Colleen Callahan and Keynote Speaker State Treasurer Michael Frerichs.

I have also signed up to support our Democratic candidate Chris Kennedy for Governor.

We will turn Illinois and Iroquois County Blue again.

I’m tired…

I’m tired of hate and belligerence and negativity being thrown around. We all have sadness to some extent in our lives without others needing to pile on it. I want to strive to be the best me I can be. The happiest me I can be. The most successful me I can be. The kindest I can be. But also the strongest me.

Suspension

Well, I can say that this week was week one of my suspension and then next week will be week two for my suspension out of my group counseling that I have. I don’t really understand the grounds for suspending me as my attendance record was supposed to be reset as it was after the first of the year and my other three absences were from 2017. According to the contract that I signed the set the rules for the group, was that you are allowed three (3) absences per year whether excused or unexcused. Also according to the contract that I signed stated that the attendance record gets reset every year. I can say that while on my suspension that I lot has happened so far. I have finally found my condo that I want in the Chicago area. I put an offer on it back in December and it was accepted and I am closing on it next week. Although I am closing on it next week, I will not be moving in for a little while, as I have also hired an interior designer to come in and spruce it all up. There are a couple of things that I want to be changed in the layout as I want an open concept floor plan and I have already gotten approval from my HOA for this process. The details that I want in it and the reconfiguration that I am having done I will not be able to move in it until sometime in March 2018 and at the latest April 2018.

I do have to say that with this suspension, that it has given me a lot more time to invest in myself and in my future. I believe that at this point in time this is the best option for me to start my life new and from a fresh beginning. I have been able to spend more time in Chicago exploring parts of the City that I have never gotten to experience in my life. There are so many different things in the Chicago area that I am have never seen nor done and can say that I am finally experiencing it all. I have gone to a couple of clubs this past week met a few people and made a couple friends.

Giving Back 2018

Well I can say that I have already begun my beginning for the year. After Christmas my aunts house caught fire and was deemed inhabitable. While she was living there, she was also taking care of her Aunt and had her living with her. After the fire it left them and Aunt Starla’s family homeless. Aunt Starla has been staying at a motel with her husband thanks to the generosity of The American Red Iroquois County Chapter. She wasn’t able to bring her Aunt with her to the motel and therefore the only option available that they had was a nursing home for her until they can find another house. Well I asked her if she just wanted to have her stay here with my and my family and I take care of her she was ecstatic and said yes and please. So for the past week I have been graciously taking care of her along with my mothers help. Not only do I take care of my mother throughout the year I also take care of another gentlemen that lives with me as his health concerns are deplorable as well. I can say that my 2018 was crap but it has enlightened me to do more and help others as often as I can. I know that I will be rewarded in the end for the good that I am doing and trying to do and continue to do. This may seem like a small task given to me, but god knows my limits and he pushes them to make me a better person. God will reward me when he believes it is time for me to reep in the rewards that he offers to his disciples.

May GOD bless myself, family, friends, and strangers I have never met.

I Was Hi-Jacked

All I know is that tonight was traumatic and full of drama from the moment I walked outside of group in Paxton. I ended up getting in my car and it is pitch black out as its 5:00pm at night and there are no lights in the parking lot. Once I got in my car and backed out of my parking spot I was in, someone came up tapping on my passenger side window and I thought it was someone in my group coming over before I left to see if they could bum a smoke or something, and when I went to roll down the window I hit the unlock button instead of the window button and he jumped in my car and told me to fucking drive. I got to the entrance/exit of the parking lot and there was a car blocking part of the driveway and I told him I couldn’t go anywhere because of the car being in my way and he told me to fucking go around. I did as I was told to do by him and then he asked me if I had a screwdriver in my car and I said nope even though in reality I probably did haha. As I was driving over the overpass by the car dealership so I could come into Paxton, he wanted to go to the dealership so that he could just steal a car from there, but then he changed his mind because the dealership was closed. Therefore he told me to go to Casey’s and wanted me to drive around the parking lot so that he could see if any of the vehicles had their keys in them so that he could steal one of them. I sure in the hell didn’t do that. I went straight to the front door of the Casey’s and went in and when I got out of my car, I made sure I had my keys and then made sure my car was all locked up. I went in and asked the cashier to please call 911 and I proceeded to tell her why when she asked me why, and an old lady came in the store all frantic as the guy that hi-jacked me had shoved her around and was in her car and took cash from her purse and was trying to steal her car but the idiot couldn’t because he couldn’t figure out how to start the car. There was a guy in the store that went out there and ended up tackling him to the ground once he got him out of the older lady’s vehicle. In the process of tackling him, he ended up bashing the suspects head into the concrete pole that is around the gas pumps. The guy had him pinned down until Paxton Police arrived, which was Sgt. Yates. Eventually Sgt. Yates paged for an ambulance to evaluate him and transport to the hospital for injuries sustained. While the EMTs were evaluating the suspect they dispatched another ambulance to the scene for the older lady as she has a heart condition just so that she can get checked out and nothing is wrong with her. Sgt. Yates ended up having me fill out a police report and it was Officer Stafford that brought me the report and directed me to fill it out to the best of my ability describing everything in detail as if they could see everything how it all turned out to be in my words. I got it all filled out and gave it to Officer Stafford and then I was released to leave and head home. This I can say was a scary sight from hell that I had to deal with.

http://www.news-gazette.com/news/local/2017-12-26/parolee-held-several-charges-attempted-carjackings-paxton.html