Open Letter to Lawrence

Open Letter to Lawrence

By Joshua Cravero

Lawrence:

I wanna know what’s going on as I never get told anything it seems like anymore. I haven’t done anything to anyone to deserve to be ignored and mistreated. All I do is stay to myself. It would be nice for once if someone came and talked to me and told me what was going on but instead I have to stoop to writing a fucking letter to even try and get a response out of you. I can be in the same room you as you, and you just walk by and ignore me like I done something wrong, why don’t you tell me what I done wrong so I can try to fix it but that won’t happen, as no one will talk to me. You act like anything I bring into the house is too good for you and I don’t know why. You are my family and my blood. You know you really hurt me when I came home Tuesday and seen your car at the fire station so you could donate blood when that is something that me and you always done, but I guess I’m too good to do that with anymore. I get so aggravated as I never know what’s going on or what I’ve done. It seems like I’m the one that has to reach out to my own flesh and blood brother to find out what’s going on, and by writing a letter/note. I get aggravated to where I just wanna give up, but I don’t as I don’t wanna hurt anybody that I care about and love, but it’s like no one cares about me or my feelings and keeps me in the dark. So can you in your free time come and talk to me and tell me what I done to be treated like this as I haven’t done anything to the best of my knowledge. Then this morning while your at work your girlfriend decides to call the police on me on fake shit when I never done a fucking thing to her. I’m tired of the bullshit she keeps pulling on me. After the police leave she comes in slamming the fucking doors like she’s somebody. She ain’t somebody to me anymore. I used to think of her as my sister and now she isn’t a thing to me. I can’t believe you of all people would allow someone to do that to your own blood when I haven’t done a fucking thing. I beyond done with her. Who’s the one that helps her out when she don’t have anything, well those days are fucking done. I’ve tried everything and she’s the one that keeps going off  the deep end. I know she’s trying everything that she can to put me in jail but I’m not doing anything for her satisfaction. I’ve tried and tried and I’m done putting my neck out there. She needs help or she’s gonna end up hurting someone if not herself and your not doing her anygood by allowing her to do this. Your not helping her. I know this because I’ve asked a couple of therapists and that’s what they told me. What I can’t believe is that you take her side even when she is wrong and you have admitted that something is wrong but only she can decide to get the help she desperately needs. But that is wrong, since you’ve been together with her for a long time now (9 years I believe) you can make her get the help she needs, as I also went to the police and I asked and that’s what they told me. She’s already hurt me and you said she don’t have a bone in her body to do that, but you know what she does, because of what she done today. There are legal ramifications that I can pursue against her if I wanted but I’m not because it will hurt you and I’m not the one that likes to hurt others emotionally, the way she does. She is no longer my family nor do I want anything to do with her until she can come to me and apologize for what she has done and I want the apology to mean it when she does or it don’t count. I don’t have to apologize as I haven’t done anything to her. I know she’s trying her damnest to put me in jail for some reason and I want to know why. Oh by the way, you’re the only one that has a key to the back door, and I want a copy as I have a right to have a copy of the key as I live here and a copy of the key of the padlock to the garage as mom is the one that paid for the padlock. She told me about a month ago now and you were there, that she don’t want me to die nor does she want to see me in jail but yet she’s trying to do everything in her power to do just that.

Sincerely your brother,

Joshua Cravero