Depression Part II

Depression is a hard thing that I have to battle with year after year. One of the most typical things of depression (for me atleast) that I have to deal with is suicide. I have contemplated suicide many times within my life. One of the first reasons that ever wanted me to commit suicide was because of my sexuality, of being gay. I always thought there was something wrong with me. I always heard about gays and being gay was  a sin. I have finally come to realization that me being gay is normal.

Another thing that has me down that I deal with is my looks. I am so obsessed with my appearance and I don’t like the way I look. I have tried everything to get the weight off and it just doesn’t go away. I have lost the weight and then it comes right back. I don’t go out in public unless it is necessary because I don’t like the way I look. I’m told all the time that I look good and great, but thats by all of my family. So that is like something that they have to do. If I go out when it isn’t necessary, it is when it is dark out so that no one can really see me and that is when I do my exercising as well so that people don’t see me that well.

When I get into one of my depression moods, I just stay in my room completely and drown everything out even my family. These moods can last anywhere from a day up to two weeks at a time. …