Champaign-Urbana Pride

Well yesterday I was able to attend Champaign-Urbana’s pride celebration and a couple LGBT panels, which one was sponsorored by Equality Illinois. The panel was very insightful into what they do for us and how they lobby to get policy and laws changed and created so that we don’t have to have any fear. After attending the panels I was able to attend and watch the Pride Parade. One of the things that I learned and didn’t know about was the panic defense against gays. Where someone can potentially getting a lessor sentence or lessor charge by claiming that they were provoked by a gay/lesbian.

There was so many entries in the pride parade. One of the amazing things I saw in the parade and didn’t know they supported LGBT community was Wal-Mart & Sam’s Club as they had a float in the parade. I always thought that they supported the community but never really saw it. The reason I point this out is because when I went to the Chicago Pride, which is a big national parade, Wal-Mart wasn’t in it.

Then I got to see the amazing T-Mobile car sitting in the lot and it was cool.

But I couldn’t have been able to attend this pride nor Chicago’s pride, without an amazing friend Dale. I know that if I’m having mental problems that I have someone else in my corner to talk to if I need it. So thanks Dale for the amazing opportunities you have shown me and continue to do so.

Carle Foundation Hospital

Well recently I was in Champaign at Carle Foundation Hospital with my Aunt as she was transferred there from another hospital for low sodium levels. We ended up spending a week there in the hospital getting her sodium levels back up into the normal ranges. While we were there, my aunt had a total of three doctors, a hospitalist, endocrinologist, and a nephrologist. They were doing lab work on her every four hours and checking her vitals and blood sugar every four hours as well. We finally got all her levels back to normal was able to be discharged from the hospital yesterday.

People say that I wasn’t in the hospital, but in reality I was, as I literally stayed there with her the whole time that she was admitted into the hospital. I can say that Carle Foundation Hospital in the best hospital around, by all our local hospitals that we have. While I was staying with my aunt in the hospital, I had people talking, saying that it shouldn’t be me staying with her and that it should be someone else. Well you know what it was my choice to go and stay with her, I was the one that stepped up before anyone could. Whenever my aunt is in the hospital, I am the one that stays with her and takes care of her. She is my world and she is the one that lights up my world. I don’t know what I would do without her as she means the world to me.

I just wish that people would stay out of my business and put their nose somewhere else where it don’t belong like they do.

So here’s to my stay in Champaign.

 

OSF Healthcare

Well on April 2018, I was taken to my local hospital ED for trying to hang myself. I ended up staying in the ED until 9 am the following morning. After that, I got to be transferred to OSF Healthcare Heart of Mary Medical Center in Urbana.

I can say that they since OSF took over ownership, some things have changed and one of the biggest changes is the technology. The technology they use is some of the best. The downfall is that the computers/portable workstations are brand new and they keep freezing. I know they used a mixed environment for technology as that could be some of the problems that they have with their technology “upgrade”. Who knows what the backend server looks like, don’t know if they using just any backend server, or top tier, such as Apple Server, as they mix apple products.

After staying here for the three days that I did, I can officially say that I feel about 85-90% better than what I did before I got there. OSF Healthcare Heart of Mary Medical Center Behavioral Health Unit is simply the best and only hospital-based unit in the area.

OSF Healthcare provides superb healthcare and treats you just like your family. I don’t know what I would do if it wasn’t for OSF Healthcare. I greatly appreciate the services that they provide to our communities.

Next on my list, is getting my individual setup and started which, I will do on Monday.

I Went Hanging

Well today was a shitty ass day. I ended up trying to hang myself and just be done with life. My brother comes in the garage where I am at with the noose around my neck and getting ready to step off the chair I was standing on. 

He wants to know what is wrong and accuses me of doing this for attention. Yea, suicide for attention? Makes sense don’t it. Well he made me call the crisis help line and I got no where with it and he even heard it. He then proceeded to make me call the hospital where I was last hospitalized to find out what to do. They told me to call an ambulance and go to my nearest hospital emergency room. I ended up doing as they said and got taken to the Hoopeston hospital.

Upon arriving to the hospital, I had to strip down to my boxers. My vitals were taken regularly and they advised that they have contacted crisis and that they should be there anytime but are coming from Champaign-Urbana area. Shift changed at 7 that night and crisis was actually called this time. Crisis didn’t show up until around 10 that night and then she fought her ass off to get me into a facility. She was trying every facility at her disposal when I told her specifically what facility I wanted to go to as I had been there before. I didn’t get to go to the facility until 7:30am when I got transferred to Champaign-Urbana to OSF Heart of Mary Medical Center. 

I spent three days there in the facility for treatment of Bipolar Disorder Type 1.  

 

*note this was written on the day and during my stay in the hospital.

Pride 2017

I can say that this year I won’t be attending Pride 2017 in Chicago like I had plans on doing as it was something that I wanted to do this year. But it’s ok, I am going to go to Champaign-Urbana and go to their Pride celebration and it will be the first time of me going to Pride in Champaign-Urbana during September. I am looking forward to seeing what Champaign-Urbana has to offer for Pride for events as this will be something new and exciting for me to go to this year and am looking forward to going and enjoying myself.

I am going to take a couple of my friends with me so that I’m not going alone as this is something new for me as when I go somewhere new or an event that is new to me, I always go with a friend or a few friends. Although I would much rather go to a much bigger Pride celebration, but one can’t complain as I will be celebrating amongst others in the same thing.

So here’s to Pride 2017 and what it all has to offer.

Surgery?? Possibly??

Well I went to the doctor today for the results of my MRI that I done on my right knee for the chronic pain, as the meds and physical therapy didn’t work. And the results are in…I have to see the orthopedic surgeons for my knee as there is an impingement within the knee and might have to have surgery on it. First they are gonna use a camera and go inside my knee and explore and see what all they can find whats wrong and then we will go from there.

I can say that my mom is worried sick already and stressing about it and says that she is going to be there and is going with me to the appointment to find out what is going on. So now I am playing the waiting game on ortho to call me with my appointment in Champaign.

I am a little nervous about it but also am excited as well. I’m excited as I’m getting closer to finding out what is wrong and getting it fixed and taken care of. I’m nervous as there is possibly surgery and that is something that I have never had done. I know that there is a strong possibility that they will do the exploratory on my knee at the first appointment, and I won’t be able to drive home as they will be putting me on a light sedative for the procedure.

So while I am waiting on the doctors to call and make my appointments I am going to just chill and relax and enjoy my time and try not to mess up my knee any worse than it is already. In a way I’m kinda hoping that they admit me into the hospital even for the exploratory as the hospital that I will be going to is my favorite and a top 50 in the United States. I’ve been in this hospital before as a patient for other reasons and they treated me with the utmost respect and dignity like everyone should receive unlike other hospitals (Iroquois Memorial) do.

This hospital that I will be at has the best physicians and nursing staff around and couldn’t ask for anything better. So here it is to me waiting on getting to this new appointment and possibly being admitted into the hospital for some surgery or surgery type procedure.

Self Admission

Depressed and manic! I haven’t been to bed in like 3 days as I haven’t been able to sleep as i have had a lot of energy and haven’t been able to contain but not enough energy to do any house work as i’m not doing that anymore because when i do i get downgraded and i’m tired of it. I was just told by someone that i’m a people pleaser and do almost any to make everyone happy well guess that shit is going to change as i’m going to start worrying about me and taking care of myself. I am currently sitting in the hospital in Urbana waiting on a crisis counselor to come and evaluate me so that i can possibly be admitted into the hospital for mental help with my bipolar. As this is the first time of me doing this on my own and by myself i am a little nervous and anxious. Every other time i was admitted it was because of self harm from intentional drug overdose and did not have a say and the originating hospital done it all. So here’s to me making a change for myself for once.

Well I can say that I was not able to get admitted into the hospital after speaking with the crisis counselor. They didn’t feel that I was a threat to myself or others and there was no need for me to be admitted into the hospital. Instead they referred me to a psychiatrist but am on a waitlist to be seen there so I have to continue with the medications that I am currently on along with the current dosage that I am taking. So in a way it was a waste of time for me to make a trip to Champaign, but I got to see some parts of Champaign that I haven’t got to explore yet.

Stressful Day/Night

I can say that tonight has been very stressful for me. I ended up having to tak emy mom to the hospital as she wasn’t feeling good and was getting worse after she had fell yesterday. So we got her to the hospital and the on call physician ordered a CT Scan on her Spine and her head. The spinal CT came out normal where they weren’t worried about anything. The head CT did not come out normal and she had to be transferred to Carle Foundation Hospital in Champaign to meet with neurosurgeons. When doctor Martin told me she had to be transferred because of the hematoma on the head, I went into panic mode. I immediately went outside and made the phone calls that needed to be made. I called Lawrence and he showed up immediately and then I called Pammy and told her what was going all while I was hysterical and balling. She told my eldest brother Steve and he ended up telling my low life uncle. My uncle then had the balls to start telling everyone in the family that my mom was dying and wouldn’t make it through the night. When I found out what he had done I was beyond pissed but I kept my cool as I had more important things to worry about, my mother.

Happiness

I can say that after being back in the city (Champaign-Urbana) I felt so happy. It felt like I was at home where I belong. I am the one that loves to be in the city and would much rather live in the city instead of being in the “country”. I would rather be in the country as like a vacation or retreat. The city has so much to offer and more than what a country area has to offer. I do know that I think eventually I will be moving to the city and to start off in a city it will be in Champaign-Urbana. Although I was in Champaign for an unfortunate reason, but I am glad that it was there as I got to be chill and relaxed. I had a feeling that I hadn’t since 2012. I felt like I was at home. After I get things all settled and taken care of and the such, I will be moving to Champaign and starting a life (a better life) there. People don’t understand why I love the city so much but I do. I don’t have to closed off from society and just be free and open because here I can’t be that way, I just don’t feel comfortable here. The city is my happiness and what brings joy to my life.