All posts filed under: Traveling

OSF Healthcare

Well on April 2018, I was taken to my local hospital ED for trying to hang myself. I ended up staying in the ED until 9 am the following morning. After that, I got to be transferred to OSF Healthcare Heart of Mary Medical Center in Urbana. I can say that they since OSF took over ownership, some things have changed and one of the biggest changes is the technology. The technology they use is some of the best. The downfall is that the computers/portable workstations are brand new and they keep freezing. I know they used a mixed environment for technology as that could be some of the problems that they have with their technology “upgrade”. Who knows what the backend server looks like, don’t know if they using just any backend server, or top tier, such as Apple Server, as they mix apple products. After staying here for the three days that I did, I can officially say that I feel about 85-90% better than what I did before I got there. OSF …

I Went Hanging

Well today was a shitty ass day. I ended up trying to hang myself and just be done with life. My brother comes in the garage where I am at with the noose around my neck and getting ready to step off the chair I was standing on.  He wants to know what is wrong and accuses me of doing this for attention. Yea, suicide for attention? Makes sense don’t it. Well he made me call the crisis help line and I got no where with it and he even heard it. He then proceeded to make me call the hospital where I was last hospitalized to find out what to do. They told me to call an ambulance and go to my nearest hospital emergency room. I ended up doing as they said and got taken to the Hoopeston hospital. Upon arriving to the hospital, I had to strip down to my boxers. My vitals were taken regularly and they advised that they have contacted crisis and that they should be there anytime but …

Suspension

Well, I can say that this week was week one of my suspension and then next week will be week two for my suspension out of my group counseling that I have. I don’t really understand the grounds for suspending me as my attendance record was supposed to be reset as it was after the first of the year and my other three absences were from 2017. According to the contract that I signed the set the rules for the group, was that you are allowed three (3) absences per year whether excused or unexcused. Also according to the contract that I signed stated that the attendance record gets reset every year. I can say that while on my suspension that I lot has happened so far. I have finally found my condo that I want in the Chicago area. I put an offer on it back in December and it was accepted and I am closing on it next week. Although I am closing on it next week, I will not be moving in …

I Was Hi-Jacked

All I know is that tonight was traumatic and full of drama from the moment I walked outside of group in Paxton. I ended up getting in my car and it is pitch black out as its 5:00pm at night and there are no lights in the parking lot. Once I got in my car and backed out of my parking spot I was in, someone came up tapping on my passenger side window and I thought it was someone in my group coming over before I left to see if they could bum a smoke or something, and when I went to roll down the window I hit the unlock button instead of the window button and he jumped in my car and told me to fucking drive. I got to the entrance/exit of the parking lot and there was a car blocking part of the driveway and I told him I couldn’t go anywhere because of the car being in my way and he told me to fucking go around. I did as …

Milford Fun Days

Well this years theme for Milford Fun Days was Milford 500. I can say that the committee comes up with some pretty good themes for our annual town festival, but the activities that goes on just keeps going down hill it seems like in my personal opinion. It has gotten to where that I don’t even attend the festivities anymore because there isn’t anything interesting there like there used to be when I was a kid or even before then. The best thing about the weekend in my honest opinion is the themes they come up with. I wish that they would bring some better entertainment back for all ages to enjoy such as amusement rides like they used to have. They used to have the Milford Jaycee’s that helped out with Fundays but they disbanded as well. Any of the festivities that they really care about is the good ole Beer Tent, as that is about the only thing that brings in money. They don’t the flea markets like they used to have or …

Pride 2017

I can say that this year I won’t be attending Pride 2017 in Chicago like I had plans on doing as it was something that I wanted to do this year. But it’s ok, I am going to go to Champaign-Urbana and go to their Pride celebration and it will be the first time of me going to Pride in Champaign-Urbana during September. I am looking forward to seeing what Champaign-Urbana has to offer for Pride for events as this will be something new and exciting for me to go to this year and am looking forward to going and enjoying myself. I am going to take a couple of my friends with me so that I’m not going alone as this is something new for me as when I go somewhere new or an event that is new to me, I always go with a friend or a few friends. Although I would much rather go to a much bigger Pride celebration, but one can’t complain as I will be celebrating amongst others in …

Surgery?? Possibly??

Well I went to the doctor today for the results of my MRI that I done on my right knee for the chronic pain, as the meds and physical therapy didn’t work. And the results are in…I have to see the orthopedic surgeons for my knee as there is an impingement within the knee and might have to have surgery on it. First they are gonna use a camera and go inside my knee and explore and see what all they can find whats wrong and then we will go from there. I can say that my mom is worried sick already and stressing about it and says that she is going to be there and is going with me to the appointment to find out what is going on. So now I am playing the waiting game on ortho to call me with my appointment in Champaign. I am a little nervous about it but also am excited as well. I’m excited as I’m getting closer to finding out what is wrong and getting …

Self Admission

Depressed and manic! I haven’t been to bed in like 3 days as I haven’t been able to sleep as i have had a lot of energy and haven’t been able to contain but not enough energy to do any house work as i’m not doing that anymore because when i do i get downgraded and i’m tired of it. I was just told by someone that i’m a people pleaser and do almost any to make everyone happy well guess that shit is going to change as i’m going to start worrying about me and taking care of myself. I am currently sitting in the hospital in Urbana waiting on a crisis counselor to come and evaluate me so that i can possibly be admitted into the hospital for mental help with my bipolar. As this is the first time of me doing this on my own and by myself i am a little nervous and anxious. Every other time i was admitted it was because of self harm from intentional drug overdose and …

Throwback to California

Well I got me a new a phone the other day and found an old SD card and put it in my phone and I came across a lot of my pictures from when I went to California and on my way back from California in 2012. This was one of the best times of my life that I have ever had, and it brings back so many memories that I want to recreate and make more. California is such a beautiful state that I wish I would’ve never left. I should’ve just stayed there and never looked back but guess what, this dumb ass here came back and got his life destroyed. These are memories that I will cherish forever.

Current Life

Well I can say that I just found out some interesting information that just pisses me off to the max. I have been holding in so much frustrations that I want to end up blowing a gasket but I get informed by my mother, that I just need to keep my mouth shut because the people that live here are wanting me to open my mouth and blow up. She told me not to do anything. How can I live somewhere, where I have to walk on eggshells and hope I don’t piss anyone off and then be persecuted by them for only god knows what. This is not the life that I asked for and nor am I going to live it either. If I can’t live in my home normally and be able to speak my own opinions then what’s the point of even living here then. There is no point of even living here then, so I have begun the process of looking for another place to live so that I can …