All posts filed under: Health

Moving Day

Well, while I was at probation this morning, I guess it became moving day officially. I get back into town and Lawrence is here with Levi and they had just finished packing their shit. Instead of me stopping, I went to the dollar store to get something. I come back from the dollar store and guess what, their gone no one is here but mom and Rat.  With this moving day, it gave me the opportunity to get some major housework done around the house. I was able to get most of the kitchen cleaned, and now I have the walls to wash and then the kitchen will be all done. Next will be their bedroom, and making sure it is spotless and then moving Rat into that room and getting him all set up so he don’t have to keep sleeping in the living room.  Also today, I was able to go outside and do some yard work and that felt amazing as it was nice outside. I’m glad I got what I done …

New Medication

When I was admitted to OSF Healthcare Heart of Mary Medical Center in Urbana a couple of weeks ago, they ended up changing my bipolar 1 medications. They ended up adding a new medication but before they could they had to get prior authorization from my health insurance as the cost of Abilify Maintena is around $1500 per month. Once I got the authorization approved I ended up getting the injection and later that day being discharged. The other day I decided to read all of the side effects of this medication as I was tired all the time but yet couldn’t sleep. After reading the side effects and other information, I found out that that is a side effect of the medication that I will have to learn to cope with. Not only that, but there is weight gain so my primary has to monitor my weight, my blood sugars, cholesterol as it will also cause those to rise as well. It also stated in the pamphlet that I am not to exercise either. …

Back to Normal

Today it seemed like everything was back to normal around the house. Tonya fixed supper, Lawrence done the dishes and even took the trash out early. We all played a game of Phase 10 although we asked Rat and he said no. I already know the reason of why he said no, because he does not like the game at all. He says it takes too long to play.  With everything seeming like it’s all back to normal again like it used to be, I still don’t believe it. In my opinion this is just a cover up as something is going to happen and only god knows that that’s going to be, but on the usual Tonya will get all pissed off about something that once again only god knows what about. But she will either say that I done something again or said something when nothing was done or said, or she’ll project the same accusations against my mom or Rat or even Lawrence, even though he isn’t here.  I know with all …

Post OSF Healthcare Admission

Today marks 5 days that I have been officially discharged from OSF Heart of Mary Medical Center. Since being discharged from the hospital, I can say that I feel so much better with an outlook on life unlike before my admission to the hospital. I have been taking my prescribed medications as I am supposed to and surprisingly I haven’t been late nor forgotten about it, as that is something that I am good at when it comes to my medication. OSF Heart of Mary Medical Center is a life saver, as they did save my ultimately although it was my brother that caught me right before I jumped off the chair in the garage with a noose around my neck. People ask me WHY? That question can’t be answered with a simple answer as it is more complex and possibly not even the right answer. There are many factors in someone’s life in which they want to cause harm to themselves or simply take their own lives.  For me at the time of my …

Worst Day

I can say that today has already started to be one of the worst days that I have had. Last night I was laying in bed relaxing and watching a little bit of tv and my older brother tells me to get dressed and to come outside, cuz I’m not going to be happy. Well he was right. All of a sudden my passenger rear tire went flat. It popped as my brother was walking by to come inside. I just don’t know what to do anymore, if it isn’t one thing it is another and I’m getting tired of it.  But I guess god wouldn’t give me these pitty issues if he didn’t think I could handle them and at times I doubt myself at being able to handle them.

OSF Healthcare

Well on April 2018, I was taken to my local hospital ED for trying to hang myself. I ended up staying in the ED until 9 am the following morning. After that, I got to be transferred to OSF Healthcare Heart of Mary Medical Center in Urbana. I can say that they since OSF took over ownership, some things have changed and one of the biggest changes is the technology. The technology they use is some of the best. The downfall is that the computers/portable workstations are brand new and they keep freezing. I know they used a mixed environment for technology as that could be some of the problems that they have with their technology “upgrade”. Who knows what the backend server looks like, don’t know if they using just any backend server, or top tier, such as Apple Server, as they mix apple products. After staying here for the three days that I did, I can officially say that I feel about 85-90% better than what I did before I got there. OSF …

I destroy homes…

I destroy homes, tear families apart, take your children, and that’s just the start. I’m more costly than diamonds, more costly than gold, the sorrow I bring is a sight to behold, and if you need me, remember I’m easily found. I live all around you, in schools and in town. I live with the rich, I live with the poor, I live down the street, and maybe next door. My power is awesome; try me you’ll see, but if you do, you may never break free. Just try me once and I might let you go, but try me twice, and I’ll own your soul. When I possess you, you’ll steal and you’ll lie. You do what you have to just to get high. The crimes you’ll commit, for my narcotic charms will be worth the pleasure you’ll feel in your arms. You’ll lie to your mother; you’ll steal from your dad When you see their tears, you should feel sad. But you’ll forget your morals and how you were raised, I’ll be your …

I Was Hi-Jacked

All I know is that tonight was traumatic and full of drama from the moment I walked outside of group in Paxton. I ended up getting in my car and it is pitch black out as its 5:00pm at night and there are no lights in the parking lot. Once I got in my car and backed out of my parking spot I was in, someone came up tapping on my passenger side window and I thought it was someone in my group coming over before I left to see if they could bum a smoke or something, and when I went to roll down the window I hit the unlock button instead of the window button and he jumped in my car and told me to fucking drive. I got to the entrance/exit of the parking lot and there was a car blocking part of the driveway and I told him I couldn’t go anywhere because of the car being in my way and he told me to fucking go around. I did as …

Another Rant

Well I can say that I am fed up with everything, and I am looking for another place to live and no one is going to be coming with me. Hopefully by the end of November, I will have found me a suitable place for me away from all of the bullshit that I am around 24/7. I’m to the point to where I don’t even want to be awake anymore. I force myself to sleep all the time if I’m not out doing something with friends having my me time, as I have no feeling when I’m at “home”. I’m the one that buys the groceries around here, and people can’t even keep the kitchen clean so that I or my mother can cook. They would rather soak up the A/C and eat up the food that I buy all at once. Hell its bad when you have to hide food because people love to eat it all up at once, but it does no good to hide it because they come in your …

Grow Up

People need to just grow the fuck up and get over themselves. I have my niece here for the day and her so-called grandmother is bein a total bitch to her for no reason. Just because she don’t want her around someone. I could understand her point if this person done something but he hasn’t done anything, as he would do anything in the world for my 4 year old neice. All she wanted was to be in the living room with me and him but that was a NO. Each time she tried to come into the living room she would get yelled and told she could only be in the kitchen. How can you “lock up” a child in the kitchen, all because you want to be a bitch. I got news for you this isn’t going to keep happening because my mouth is getting ready to open up and people aren’t going to like what I have to say and what I’m going to do. What’s the worse that she can do, …