All posts filed under: Family

Spring Has Sprung

Well its official finally. Spring has sprung, even though Spring on a calendar would show in April, but it didn’t happen here. Instead we stayed in the form of Winter. We had snow all throughout the month of April, one day it was cold the next it was cool. I’m glad to say that Spring is finally here.  It is so refreshing to be able to open the windows and have some fresh air in the house and being able to smell the fresh cut grass, rain right before it gets here and so much more. It’s just all transcending and captivating. My flowers have sprouted from the ground now and my tulips are in full bloom. I love being able to wake up to the sounds of the birds chirping early in the morning to watching the sunset go down at night. Thankfully we haven’t had to turn the central air on yet, as once that happens no more fresh air that can take you back to your childhood.  So here’s to another wonderful …

Paranoid Schizophrenia

Paranoid Schizophrenia Paranoid Schizophrenia Children Need to Grow Up I can say that I know someone that needs to grow the fuck up and go and get the help they desperately need. I can’t live a life like this and neither can my mother or friend Rat. We are constantly accused of talking about her, supposedly we’ve talked behind her back stating we’re gonna throw her out, and the list just keeps going on. Hell, now she thinks the police and our primary care provider have a conspiracy out to get her. There is something wrong and she needs to get it fixed before she ends up hurting herself or others. Hell she’s done tried to run my brother, her boyfriend, over with the car.  She is the cause of the drama that goes on daily here at the house and has caused my brother to turn his back on his own family by blood. Due to her drama that is one of the reasons that I tried to hang myself at the beginning of …

Moving Day

Well, while I was at probation this morning, I guess it became moving day officially. I get back into town and Lawrence is here with Levi and they had just finished packing their shit. Instead of me stopping, I went to the dollar store to get something. I come back from the dollar store and guess what, their gone no one is here but mom and Rat.  With this moving day, it gave me the opportunity to get some major housework done around the house. I was able to get most of the kitchen cleaned, and now I have the walls to wash and then the kitchen will be all done. Next will be their bedroom, and making sure it is spotless and then moving Rat into that room and getting him all set up so he don’t have to keep sleeping in the living room.  Also today, I was able to go outside and do some yard work and that felt amazing as it was nice outside. I’m glad I got what I done …

Back to Normal

Today it seemed like everything was back to normal around the house. Tonya fixed supper, Lawrence done the dishes and even took the trash out early. We all played a game of Phase 10 although we asked Rat and he said no. I already know the reason of why he said no, because he does not like the game at all. He says it takes too long to play.  With everything seeming like it’s all back to normal again like it used to be, I still don’t believe it. In my opinion this is just a cover up as something is going to happen and only god knows that that’s going to be, but on the usual Tonya will get all pissed off about something that once again only god knows what about. But she will either say that I done something again or said something when nothing was done or said, or she’ll project the same accusations against my mom or Rat or even Lawrence, even though he isn’t here.  I know with all …

Post OSF Healthcare Admission

Today marks 5 days that I have been officially discharged from OSF Heart of Mary Medical Center. Since being discharged from the hospital, I can say that I feel so much better with an outlook on life unlike before my admission to the hospital. I have been taking my prescribed medications as I am supposed to and surprisingly I haven’t been late nor forgotten about it, as that is something that I am good at when it comes to my medication. OSF Heart of Mary Medical Center is a life saver, as they did save my ultimately although it was my brother that caught me right before I jumped off the chair in the garage with a noose around my neck. People ask me WHY? That question can’t be answered with a simple answer as it is more complex and possibly not even the right answer. There are many factors in someone’s life in which they want to cause harm to themselves or simply take their own lives.  For me at the time of my …

Proud Democrat

I can say that I am a PROUD Democrat living in a Republican ran county. I support the Iroquois County Democrats. The Democratic Party is there for The People. While the country is in a state of mess with the Republican Commander-in-Chief and Republican led Congress, we must come together with our differences and elect our rightful officials that will stand up for us when no one will. As you see in the news and social media on the daily, our Republican ran country is ruining our country what it was founded in. We (Democrats) are the change. Currently the primary election is right before us. We as Americans have the duty to vote and elect the rightful candidates to serve and protect us ALL. Currently Iroquois County Democrats is hosting an event New Day/New New Day at Town & Country Events in Milford. You can get tickets online at their website or by messaging Iroquois Democrats on Facebook. Come meet our MC Colleen Callahan and Keynote Speaker State Treasurer Michael Frerichs. I have also …

Another Rant

Well I can say that I am fed up with everything, and I am looking for another place to live and no one is going to be coming with me. Hopefully by the end of November, I will have found me a suitable place for me away from all of the bullshit that I am around 24/7. I’m to the point to where I don’t even want to be awake anymore. I force myself to sleep all the time if I’m not out doing something with friends having my me time, as I have no feeling when I’m at “home”. I’m the one that buys the groceries around here, and people can’t even keep the kitchen clean so that I or my mother can cook. They would rather soak up the A/C and eat up the food that I buy all at once. Hell its bad when you have to hide food because people love to eat it all up at once, but it does no good to hide it because they come in your …

Grow Up

People need to just grow the fuck up and get over themselves. I have my niece here for the day and her so-called grandmother is bein a total bitch to her for no reason. Just because she don’t want her around someone. I could understand her point if this person done something but he hasn’t done anything, as he would do anything in the world for my 4 year old neice. All she wanted was to be in the living room with me and him but that was a NO. Each time she tried to come into the living room she would get yelled and told she could only be in the kitchen. How can you “lock up” a child in the kitchen, all because you want to be a bitch. I got news for you this isn’t going to keep happening because my mouth is getting ready to open up and people aren’t going to like what I have to say and what I’m going to do. What’s the worse that she can do, …

Jason!

Well, today is the birthday of my nephew Jason. Today he would’ve been 19 years old. He died when he was only 18 years old of an ATV accident. He wasn’t in the care of his biological parents nor did we know of his whereabouts. He was in the care of his adoptive parents. We just informed a few months before he passed by his biological mother that she put him up for adoption, and didn’t even notify my brother about anything. It is a long and painful story. I have thought of Jason every day since the very last time that I saw him when I was a young child when his mother and my brother went back to Peoria after spending the weekend with us, and that was the last time that I had ever saw him. Jason had so much ahead of him, he was still so young and vibrant and had a bright future to look forward to. When we found out that he was adopted out that’s when Lawrence had …

Friendships!

Friendships is one thing that I pride myself on. There is one friendship that I don’t have and I wish that I did have and miss. That was one friend that I could always go to when I had a problem and no one would ever listen to me when I needed someone to listen but he would. Yes there are things that he done/does that I don’t approve of, but no matter what I will always be there for him no matter what anybody says because that is what friendships are about. I get told on a daily basis that this wasn’t a friendship or anything. It was just him using me to get whatever he needed or wanted. But you know what if that’s what it was, then it was, I don’t really care. I haven’t heard from him since around my birthday when I got out of jail and seen him in Casey’s and exchanged a few texts. Then I got a new phone and number and I lost his number. This …