All posts filed under: Certain People

In My Blood

The lyrics of this song means so much to me, It couldn’t have came on the radio when it did. So take a gander of these lyrics. They are so strong and powerful. Help me, it’s like the walls are caving in Sometimes I feel like giving up But I just can’t It isn’t in my blood Laying on the bathroom floor, feeling nothing I’m overwhelmed and insecure, give me something I could take to ease my mind slowly Just have a drink and you’ll feel better Just take her home and you’ll feel better Keep telling me that it gets better Does it ever? Help me, it’s like the walls are caving in Sometimes I feel like giving up No medicine is strong enough Someone help me I’m crawling in my skin Sometimes I feel like giving up But I just can’t It isn’t in my blood It isn’t in my blood I’m looking through my phone again, feeling anxious Afraid to be alone again, I hate this I’m trying to find a way …

Paranoid Schizophrenia

Paranoid Schizophrenia Paranoid Schizophrenia Children Need to Grow Up I can say that I know someone that needs to grow the fuck up and go and get the help they desperately need. I can’t live a life like this and neither can my mother or friend Rat. We are constantly accused of talking about her, supposedly we’ve talked behind her back stating we’re gonna throw her out, and the list just keeps going on. Hell, now she thinks the police and our primary care provider have a conspiracy out to get her. There is something wrong and she needs to get it fixed before she ends up hurting herself or others. Hell she’s done tried to run my brother, her boyfriend, over with the car.  She is the cause of the drama that goes on daily here at the house and has caused my brother to turn his back on his own family by blood. Due to her drama that is one of the reasons that I tried to hang myself at the beginning of …

Moving Day

Well, while I was at probation this morning, I guess it became moving day officially. I get back into town and Lawrence is here with Levi and they had just finished packing their shit. Instead of me stopping, I went to the dollar store to get something. I come back from the dollar store and guess what, their gone no one is here but mom and Rat.  With this moving day, it gave me the opportunity to get some major housework done around the house. I was able to get most of the kitchen cleaned, and now I have the walls to wash and then the kitchen will be all done. Next will be their bedroom, and making sure it is spotless and then moving Rat into that room and getting him all set up so he don’t have to keep sleeping in the living room.  Also today, I was able to go outside and do some yard work and that felt amazing as it was nice outside. I’m glad I got what I done …

Friendships!

Friendships is one thing that I pride myself on. There is one friendship that I don’t have and I wish that I did have and miss. That was one friend that I could always go to when I had a problem and no one would ever listen to me when I needed someone to listen but he would. Yes there are things that he done/does that I don’t approve of, but no matter what I will always be there for him no matter what anybody says because that is what friendships are about. I get told on a daily basis that this wasn’t a friendship or anything. It was just him using me to get whatever he needed or wanted. But you know what if that’s what it was, then it was, I don’t really care. I haven’t heard from him since around my birthday when I got out of jail and seen him in Casey’s and exchanged a few texts. Then I got a new phone and number and I lost his number. This …

Pulled one Over?

Well some people think that they pulled on over on me? Well I got news for them they didn’t get shit pulled over over me. They tried to change my cable plan and services that I received from the cable company and guess what I got the services back that I originally had and even had them removed from the account as an authorized person on the account that I never even authorized. Hell I even put a pin on the account so that this shit can’t happen again and no one can call in and make changes to the account or even talk to a representative about my account. I never thought that I would ever have to do anything so drastic like this, but I guess, I have to. So its time to call all of the companies I deal with and put passwords on the accounts so no one can make account changes on my services. Try pulling another one on me again and make excuses cuz it isn’t gonna work.

Sorry

8/15/2016 Dear Your Name: This is hard to say to you, but I’ll say something a little easier. I want to thank you for always being a friend that anyone could ask for and always being there for me when I needed someone especially when I attempted suicide because I thought I had no one in my life. I don’t know what I would do without having you as a friend in my life. I will always be there for you when you need something and always will be. Now here comes that hard part. I’ve always handed out to you and never get anything in return back. We make arrangements on how to give back and it never happens. You always end up wanting to change the arrangement to something that better suits you. I’m not trying to complain even though that is what it sounds like. Whenever I have the cash I always hand out to you and never ask for anything in return, and when I do ask for something in return, …